mitski, makeup, and a messy post in general

You know, I keep telling myself to update this more often to avoid having an absurdly long, image-heavy post, but I never seem to actually take that advice. Maybe that should've been my New Year's resolution. I specifically remember not making any since I never stick to them, but let me tell you, it quickly came down to "be financially stable" and "keep this apartment" pretty fast.

Overall, 2016 has sort of...well, sucked. I'm not going to write about all that here, however -- I save that sort of venting for my personal journals, Twitter rants, and Skype calls. Instead, I want to spotlight some of the good things lately. I'm sure no one reading this (is anyone even reading this anymore?) is interested in the money-related meltdowns and the occasional existential crisis that sums up adulthood as a 20-something in the city.

Right, so where do I start? I suppose I'll open with the most exciting news -- I went to the Noisepop show this past Wednesday night to see Mitski, one of my favorite musicians! If you haven't listened to her yet, you definitely should. 

She was brilliant, heartbreaking, and heartwarming, of course. And I got to talk to her after the show! 

   

I was definitely starstruck -- it wasn't exactly easy to piece together everything I wanted to tell her about how much it meant to me to see an Asian woman playing on stage -- but I know she understood what I was trying to get across. A few hours before the show I tweeted her something about "crying toc (tears of color)" at her show, which she found amusing enough to give a shout-out right before her last song! Needless to say, I felt like I was dreaming. 

That's just one of many side effects to listening to Mitski's songs, I suppose -- feeling that pleasant, floaty dreaminess. Am I making sense? Probably not. I'm already looking forward to seeing her perform again. It's been ages since I've been to a concert -- my last was the Courtney Love and Lana del Rey show in the late spring of 2016 -- and Mitski was the perfect choice to welcome the experience back. The next one on my list is The Last Shadow Puppets in April. Finally. Finally.

Being out that night was especially refreshing, seeing as 99% of my time spent outside is either at work, or doing grocery runs. I did have a fun night out with some friends who decided to visit a few days earlier though, and we stumbled upon one of the Chinese New Year parades downtown before having some touristy Ghirardelli treats.

Speaking of work, it's been nice so far -- I admire the people I work with, and I'm having a lot of fun managing the social media accounts. I'm hoping to get more hours soon, because it's unfortunately not enough to make rent in San Francisco, even for a tiny space. In fact, I'm back in the soul-crushing cycle that is job hunting, because I really, really don't want to lose this lovely, cozy apartment.

But! Like I said, this isn't the place for my financial breakdowns. I'm lucky that taking pretty photos of my workplace is part of my job, since it's great for dressing up this blog and my Instagram:

Being surrounded by so many adorable things for hours -- especially all the flowers and succulents -- really get me into the mood for decorating my apartment. 

Unfortunately, I don't have the money for any of that right now, so instead I try to keep the beehive (not sure if I've referred to my home as the beehive here yet, because I do on other accounts all the time) as cute, clean, and photogenic as possible. It does wonders for my mood, actually.

As I'm sure you can tell from the photos above, I've been playing around with eyeshadow a lot. Now, I've been lusting for the TooFaced Chocolate Bar palettes for ages, but not knowing shit about eyeshadow makes the price tags even more unjustifiable. I recently discovered that Makeup Revolution has chocolate bar palettes of their own, and two of them are exact dupes for the TooFaced ones -- I Heart Chocolate, which you see here, and Salted Caramel, which I should be receiving in the mail soon. And yes, their Blushing Hearts blushes are dupes of Too Faced's Sweethearts blush.

I hope one day I can have all of them to experiment with -- the shadows are buttery and pigmented, the packaging is super cute, and the price can't be beat. I wish they'd start selling Makeup Revolution products here! I know they have some at Ulta now, but as far as I can tell, I haven't seen any of their chocolate line.

Anyway! Mitski and makeup aside, here's a poorly organized list of other things I feel like I should mention:

• Since I'm looking for a second job, I'm trying to earn as much extra money as I can. I'm back to doing commissions, so if you're interested, please message me using this contact form on my porfolio. You can view my rates and styles here -- take note, though, that I will be updating them soon.
  
  
  
  
• I'm on a Kate Bishop kick lately -- here are two playlists I've put together in the past few days to cope with the (strange, unacceptable) fact that I still haven't finished reading the Hawkeye comics: SUPERHERO, and H²:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• I've also added a few updates to my art portfolio. New pieces (including some commissions) will be added accordingly.
  
  
• At the moment I can't exactly prioritize working on personal projects like short stories, paintings, et cetera -- however, I have no reason to toss them aside entirely. In-between art commissions I try to draw or at least doodle some pieces to keep me warmed up, and to help ensure that I don't lose whatever creative drive I've managed to muster. I am still up for tattoo commissions, so please talk to me if you're interested! I generally keep a number of slots open for commissions if I'm announcing them on Tumblr since that's where I have the highest amount of followers, so if I'm discussing openings on other platforms, I don't usually have a slot limit.

Alright -- I think that's all I have for now. Hope to tune back in soon! Thanks for reading. 

If I had a catchy goodbye message or tagline like some of my favorite Youtube gamers and makeup experts, it'd be here, but as it turns out, I'm not quite there yet. (Did I mention, by the way, that a Youtube LP channel specializing in horror games is another plan for the future? That's not until my boyfriend moves in, though. Christ, I can't wait for the day I get to split rent costs.)

lana del rey @ bill graham civic auditorium (4/18)

I know I said I'd do a write-up of the Lana del Rey concert I went to, so here it is! Unfortunately I've put it off for too long -- to call this past week exhausting would be an understatement -- so it'll be messy. (Think of it as a way to show off the, what, three nice photos I managed to snap?)

I already knew the crowd was going to be huge. I mean, it's Lana del Rey and people were lining up at the venue since 10am, and probably even earlier. I got there much later than I planned to, around 4:30pm or so, and I greatly underestimated the amount of people there. (I also underestimated the sheer amount of flower crowns in the audience. I don't think I've seen so many flower crowns in one place in my entire life.) The line eventually came to circle the entirety of the park by City Hall. I didn't think there was any possibility of my being at the front, and that was okay -- juts thinking about how brutal and rabid it would be at the pit was enough to let my late arrival slide.

Turns out I did end up pretty close. I don't know what it is about concerts and how I manage to luck out, no matter how late I arrive -- I'm not a crowd bully, I promise! -- but I ended up in the second row, towards the side. And if I thought I underestimated the size of the crowd as it snaked around the park, the sheer size of it only seemed bigger inside the venue. The concert hadn't even started yet and already people were pushing, and I had to steady myself so as to not fall over. I found myself envying those at the very front -- not because they were at the very front, but because they had a barrier to hold on to. By now it was more or less too late to head for a safer spot, seeing as the auditorium was full, and people were reluctant to move out of the way for anyone.

I'll say it now: that was the most brutal concert I've ever been to. Ever. Before this, it was the crowd at Arctic Monkeys back in September, but the crowd for Lana made that past experience look tame and family-friendly in comparison. And yes, I'm still saying that even though I got kicked in the head by a crowdsurfer at AM's show. The moment the lights dimmed the crowd made a wave towards the stage, and I knew it was only going to get more chaotic.

But enough of the crowd for now -- let's move on to Lana! Lana was fantastic. I never thought I'd be able to see her perform live, and I'm glad I didn't let this opportunity pass. She played her new song, West Coast, which was even better live. Here's her setlist from that evening.

Eventually some very tall and very rude people (and extremely hardcore Lana fans, judging from the fact that one of them tried to throw their underwear on stage and hit me in the head with it at one point...yuck) elbowed me and pushed me back, so I had to watch some of the concert through people's phones (or mine). As a result I got more videos than I did pictures. Pardon the bad quality, though. You can watch them on my Instagram: Born to Die, Born to Die (again), Gods and Monsters, Blue Jeans, West Coast, Young and Beautiful.

Anyway, after many a beautiful chorus, Lana sung the last words of National Anthem, signed autographs for those in the center front, and walked off stage. Once I made my way out of the crowd I walked over to the merchandise table, but the line was way too long so I figured I'd pass on a shirt. I met my friend Jasmine after the show as we couldn't find each other beforehand, and after a run-in (or drive-by, technically) with impatient strangers in the parking lot, I enjoyed the rest of the night as we made our way home.

All in all, Lana was glorious live, and I continue to admire her talent and how much she changes up her songs! One thing's for sure, though: next time she comes around town, I am definitely getting seats as opposed to standing. I love you, Lana, I really do, but I plan to keep my limbs intact -- all the better to dance along to your new tunes to!

drowners @ great american music hall (3/14)

The thing about concerts is that after attending one, it's all you're going to want to do for a while. I have  Lana del Rey's show coming up on Friday, so before the experience and energy of that one consumes me, I'll write up this quick post about Monday's show at Great American Music Hall.

My friend Dainiz and I went to see Drowners (the opening band) and Temples the other night. There were several people, including us, who were really only there for Drowners from the looks of it -- the venue itself was more or less empty until Temples took the stage.

Unfortunately, given the lighting, continuous movement, and the fact that the camera on my phone isn't exactly the best, most of my photos didn't turn out so well despite being in the second row. It's nothing to mope about, though -- I had a great night, and there were plenty of nice photos from others in the #Drowners tag on Instagram.

I also took two quick videos of A Button on Your Blouse and Luv, Hold Me Down.

One thing I immediately noticed was that Drowners had great energy on stage! I think I might prefer their sound live to that of the studio, actually. (Sure, actually being there probably has a lot to do with it.) Jack Ridley on the guitar, in particular, was quite interactive with the audience.

Seeing as they were only opening (and that the duration of their debut album is about 30 minutes), they left the stage after a short set. A crew began to prep the stage for Temples, and people in the front began to leave too. Dainiz and I were at the very front row now, and the venue is quite small, so the shows make for a very intimate experience. 

However, the venue was starting to fill up fast, and there were some antsy Temples fans making their way to the front. Since we were only there for Drowners, we didn't mind giving up our spots at the front. We saw Drowners leave backstage and walking towards the merch table, so we left the crowd in that direction in hopes of being able to have a chat with them. And we did!

They were super friendly and eager to talk to fans. Matt Hitt (lead singer) was very patient when it came to taking photos -- the lighting was especially dim, and flash is especially unflattering, so there were plenty of retakes. I can't even remember how many we had to take. (I have a few photos with their new drummer, but the lighting is so awful that no amount of editing or filters could save it. Oh well.)

Luckily Dainiz brought her Fujifilm Instax camera, which yielded nice photos:

They stuck around the merch table for a while to talk to everyone, and by now the venue was definitely full. Temples came on stage, and conversation had to resort to shouting in order to hear anything. Anyway, Drowners eventually left, so after some mingling, I got a shirt and a free poster, and took a quick shot of Temples before we exited the venue:

Needless to say, the rest of the night went well. We were out of the venue earlier than expected so we stuck around whatever places happened to be open at the time. (Things in San Francisco close unfortunately early). Drowners are still continuing their US tour so I'm not sure when they'll be back, but when they do return to the bay area, I'll be sure to see them play again!

--

In other news, I have another article coming up on College Fashion's Fashion Inspired by Art column today, so check back there in a few hours. I probably won't be making a separate post for it this time around.

Next time: Lana del Rey!

LA day 5, The National

I'm writing this post covered in a fluffy heart-patterned bathrobe and an old Spongebob blanket to fight the chilly San Francisco weather -- in other words, I'm back home.

My flight landed at around 4pm yesterday. I know I was only in LA for a few days, but I'm still surprised at how fast spring break went by! I don't go back to class till Tuesday, but I've got a lot to finish and set up before then. Looks like my mornings spent in Westwood cafes and vintage stores will have to wait till next vacation.

Anyway, this post is going to be super long -- bear with me. But I'd like to dedicate all these run-on sentences to Audrey for obvious reasons, and because I wouldn't have had such an amazing spring break without her!

Tuesday (3/25)

On the 25th, Audrey and I went to see The National at The Shrine Auditorium! We had a lot of time to kill beforehand though, so we spent the day in various places. 

After (another) brunch at Native Foods Cafe and (yet another) visit to Westwood's American Vintage (which I will miss terribly; see: wallet and heart ring below), we had ice cream and cookies at Diddy Riese. I've passed by this place every day during my stay but the line was always outrageously long. It was pretty short in the early afternoon on a Tuesday morning, so Audrey and I got ourselves some treats. They were delicious, and reminded me a lot of the CREAM I live nearby.

I borrowed one of Audrey's Peter Pan collar tops that day. Hehehe. I have yet to find my own perfect Peter Pan collar garment, actually. There's always a detail or two that steers it away from the simple piece I'm looking for...but I'll continue to keep my eyes open for it. 

We took a bus to the LACMA next. Now, we didn't actually go inside -- we just lurked in one of the nearby cafes (C+M Coffee and Milk) for some caffeine, to use the wi-fi, and to charge our phones. 

Audrey bought a sketchbook at the gift shop next door so we doodled a few things during our stay. Here's some of Audrey's drawings (which were a lot cuter than mine btw):

^ featuring our role model and dear friend Marion, yours truly, and Audrey.

We took two buses down to the area where The Shrine auditorium was, and we got there a bit early. Stopped by Denny's for even more coffee as well as some grilled cheese. It would've been a sin if Audrey and I, grilled cheese enthusiasts, didn't eat some together at least once. 

We entered The Shrine just as the doors opened around 6pm. Audrey and I got our band tees at the merchandise stand so as to avoid the inevitable crowd later. 

This was the first sitting-down concert I've been to and The Shrine was probably (alright, definitely) the biggest venue I've been in. We were way up in the balcony but still had a pretty good view. It was also my first time seeing The National, so despite what Audrey told me about her previous time seeing them, I didn't know what to expect.

Before the show started, though, Tom Berninger (brother of The National's lead singer, Matt Berninger) was there to present his movie, Mistaken for Strangers. It chronicled the time he spent touring with his brother's band. It was funny, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and eerily relateable. 

Overall, Mistaken for Strangers provided an intimate look into the dynamic of both band and family, and how the struggles of both sometimes really is just worth it. I definitely won't be forgetting it anytime soon, and I highly recommend it if you're a fan of The National and if it'll be playing in an area near you. Bring tissues or something, though, because if the documentary gets you all teary then you're definitely not going to be ready for The National. (Like me.)

Unfortunately my phone died really early and I didn't get any photos of the show itself. I did, however, manage to take a video of what The National opened with (and one of my favorite songs), Don't Swallow the Cap. You can view the video in all its awful quality and colorful glory here on my Instagram.

The show itself was so much more than I expected it to be. They played both older and newer songs, and although they didn't play my favorite song (Conversation 16), I was thankful to hear other faves: Don't Swallow the Cap, Bloodbuzz Ohio (I probably cried), Mistaken for Strangers, Terrible Love, England, Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks, and Slow Show! (I definitely cried.)

The band and sound were great, and Matt was...oh man, Matt was something else entirely. I got a bit of a preview of what his performance was like thanks to some of the footage in Tom's documentary, but seeing it on film and seeing it in real life were two separate experiences. Now, The National is one of those bands I listen to when I'm feeling sad and when I want to cry, or when it's gloomy outside...but some of their songs were pretty heavy live and Matt straight up screamed some of his lines. (That is, when he wasn't throwing around his drinks or accepting drinks from people lucky enough to be in the front row.)

One of the funniest and most memorable things had to be their performance of All The Wine. Before the show, Audrey was telling me how much she was hoping he would sing All The Wine because it was one of her favorite songs, so she was ecstatic when it started up. However, shortly after the "I'm a perfect piece of ass / Like every Californian" line, Matt decided to skip the song, literally stopped, and went on to sing something else. We were DYING.

(image credit)

Other memorable moments from the show: 

+ Matt screaming Squalor Victoria. Audrey told me about this, but holy shit it turned into straight up screamo. Amazing.

+ The unbelievable light shows during their songs. I really wish I didn't waste all that phone battery taking pictures of my food or refreshing Twitter!

+ People in the front row stretching out and petting our dear lead singer. I mean, the fact that he bent over and knelt in front of them (if not diving into them) probably helped them a lot, but anyway.

+ The encore's acoustic rendition of Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks, where Matt did minimal singing and eventually turned the singing over to the audience. It was really sweet, and I could feel ugly tears on my face.

+ Matt literally crawling into the audience during Terrible Love and getting so deep into the crowd that security had to pull him back via mic cord. I eventually lost track of where he was. And judging from what I saw in Tom's movie, this is apparently as common as Alex Turner combing his hair or forgetting his own lyrics during a performance.

+ Oh, and the man sitting next to us was an interesting character. I almost forgot to mention that dude.

All in all, it was an amazing show and I can't wait till I get to see them next. They're playing here in Berkeley in April, but with Lana del Rey's show coming up next month, I'm not sure if it'll be wise to blow even more money on yet another concert. We'll see, though...because since seeing The National I've been listening to High Violet and Boxer on repeat and I'm getting emotional all over again. (Needless to say my short plane ride back home was full of their music.)

Audrey and I ended the evening with Korean food and rambling about various band members, not limited to that of The National. Well, actually, we pretty much did that every single night. God, I miss it already.

Wednesday (3/26)

Ah, my last few hours in (mostly sunny) LA. I woke up early to pack so I was feeling a bit groggy until we had coffee at Audrey's place. I looked through a street fashion book in her room before we set off for the airport around 1pm.

We said our goodbyes outside the airport. I hope one day she'll get to visit me here -- I have so many places I want to show her, and I hope to give her a vacation as great as the one she gave me! 

My more or less impulsive decision to visit LA this spring break was a choice I'm glad I made. I got to meet the lovely Audrey, skip all the gimmicky touristy stuff to witness the character of certain corners of the city, eat amazing food, browse rack after rack of gorgeous clothes, and heard beautiful music live.

Meeting my internet friends in person is always a special experience -- upon mere hours of spending time alongside each other, there's already an intimacy written into our relationship that encounters outside the internet take weeks, even months, to get to. I have less to hide from them, if anything at all, and one important thing I've come to realize after a fair share of these experiences is that I don't feel the need to water myself down for them.

I've been wanting to blow off some mid-semester stress for a while, so I'm happy I did it this way rather than spend the entire break endlessly scrolling through Tumblr. I'm actually doing right now, but hey, I'm tired -- and I've still got a few things ahead to take care of during this last dreg of spring break.

I'll be back very, very soon.